Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Umm...?


I know its Tuesday, and you're probably wondering where we ate this week...and what exciting adventure that we had to lug through this time. But we were on a bit of a tight schedule so I just brought her lunch afterschool, we hung out at Remix for a bit while CBC was recording and documenting the facility...and then I dropped her off. Hence no tenderonni pictures. lol
Regardless of the agenda, its always time well spent.


Ive been in a troubled state of mind for the past few days that I couldnt seem to find my way out of...

Im feeling a lot better now and hopefully I can stay here for awhile.

First of all I have to say thank you to anyone and everyone who has taken some sort of time out of their day to read my rants. I never thought anyone was interested in what I had to say. I thought it was more of just you guys being here to see pictures. But I get more comments about my rants more than anything.
Its quite a surprise. I dont know the majority of the people who visit my blog. But I feel like some of you guys that dont know me, actually do know me better than a lot of people who claim to know me.

lol.

Its weird but cool.

Lola has been telling me to create a blog for the last 3 years...but I was extremely boring then (even more boring than I am now...yea its possible). But Ive never felt the timing was right until now. But thank you Lola for the initial push.

I told Bryan last February that I wanted to start a blog of my own. I wanted to move away from Facebook and find a better way to create an identity for myself. Obviously I cant go around shaking everyones hand and getting to know everyone, so I thought this would be an effective medium. I wanted to show off my quirky sense of humor, show you what my day was like, kinda be vulnerable in a way where everyone knows me in a more truer sense. I just want you to understand me as being more than a photographer; But as a friend, as a student, as a brother, a son, a boyfriend (well I was single at the time) and lastly as an artist. Bryan thought it was a dope idea and told me to go for it.

A week later I told him I decided to partner up with some friends to make it cooler. Bryan wasnt too fond with the idea of me having to compromise and restrict my thoughts, creativity and imagination. I ignored him at first because I thought I couldnt get enough readers on my own and I felt that Bryan had overestimated me and I really wasnt who he thought I was.

He said
"When you start your own blog, just do you. Who cares about what people think is cool. Dont post wack shit just for the sake of hits and appeal. This blog is just for you to express what you want and what you feel. You're creating a place for people of similar and like-minds. If they read it, you know they like it and theyre like you. And if they dont, it doesnt matter, because its not them you're trying to attract anyways. Do it for you."

It was hard for me at first...When I started blogging, I never really knew what to put besides event pictures and pictures of my day to day routine that looked cool. I never wrote too much because I felt people never really wanted to hear my thoughts, that everyone was only after the pictures. I asked Bryan if I was typing too much and if it was bad idea for the sake of the blog and MY readers. In a way it was bias to ask Bryan, because the Legends League is usually very heavy in text...so without even asking him, I already knew the answer.

He said something along the lines of "Writing more will only reveal to your reader more about yourself, and potentially yourself to yourself."

Dont quote Bryan's quotes here line for line...it was back in February. Im just playing off memory.

And I only realized what he meant when I started writing more on my posts, especially with the "My Origins", "My troubles" and "Darkness" posts.
Let me say, I am extremely extremely extremely surprised by the amount of hits that I have received from these posts. Ask anyone, thats all I talk about

I feel a lot better now about being able to just say what I want. Its also amazing with the amount of in depth comments I receive from you guys. I hit the refresh button on my blackberry all day waiting for a new comment to appear for me to approve. I love getting feedback especially knowing that it has affected you in someway or that you can relate to it.

Im glad that I havent necessarily made a mistake by being more open.

Anyhow...like I said, I have been in a troubled state of mind for the past few days. I will not say what it relates to or what its about. But I did write a little something. Whatever you think this is about...its probably not. Whoever you think it involves, it probably doesnt. Sometimes Im able to just imagine myself in another time, in another situation, in a different mood. Or I could be lying about that right now...who knows?

So this is a poem that I wrote earlier on today when I first woke up. Its not the best thing that you nor I have ever read but watevs. The last time I wrote a poem was in grade 10...Im very rusty. But here goes.


cant eat
cant sleep
cant wake...
cant think
shouldnt think
shouldnt stress
shouldnt worry...
shouldnt anticipate
wont tell
wont show
wont know
dont know...

dont go.

will work
will try
for more
forward
for us
can change
can be
will be
be better
be strong
be hopeful
believe.

lol. Feel free to laugh at the poem now. Someone told me there was a hint of desperation in this poem...but I guess sometimes theres no way to dress up the way you really feel. True feelings always sound corny. The truth is not easy to dress up in articulation. Its raw. Unrefined and unpolished. The smooth stuff is usually the fake stuff (most times, not all the time).

Sometimes you just gotta say things how they are and not care about how lame you look. Put aside your ego, put aside your pride. The sincerity needs to be felt, the honesty has to be present and genuiness must exist.

Say what you need to when the opportunity still exists, tomorrow may never come and they may never know.

PS. Dont worry, Ill have a crapload of photos for you guys after Thursday night. The long readings will end soon enough. lol

PSS. feel free to leave comments, I love feedback. ...wait I already said that...fuckin a.


16 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, I'll be the first comment, amazing!

As I started to read it I was thinking "YAY! I love it when Will rants about stupid ppl" cuz majority of the time, it's true. But then I get more into it. More into Will. More into me? And yet I can't help but tear up because not only am I in a shitty situation and your writing makes the night go by, but it's like I knew this all along and I still seem to keep my ego first and my feelings last?
Even if I wanted to hold back from telling my mom everything stupid I've done, I can't.
Ahhh!! I hate you Will.
And Bryan.
For getting in touch with Will's inner poet.

narrylikes said...

the wise words of bryan, and now the wise words of will!

Anonymous said...

I didn't get desperation from that poem. I see a lot of hope and struggles in it and I got inspiration from it. Thanks. You're really interesting in your troubled state of mind and you reveal a lot more, all real. I like it. I don't know you at all but maybe you think you're boring because you don't like reading or writing alone. I don't like writing, but I like it when it's interactive like this. You respond to all these comments and shape your blog around them. I like that too. I love reading, and even in some of the blogs that aren't as deep, there's humour or something in them that gives us a sense of your personality.

As for the poem, you should probably take that and put it in one of your pictures, choose whichever one you think it fits on, I have a couple in mind that it will go well on, but thats my interpretation and I don't want to corrupt what you mean that poem to be.

That brings me to your pictures. They're awesome. You take really good ones, and I do come to htis blog to see them a lot (I clearly read it too). But I just wanted to say that there's nothing wrong with you posting those pictures, you don't have to worry about people just looking at the pictures because most of them, even some of the party ones, tell stories of their own. You have an uncanny ability to capture realness and rawness of people and places. You could probably just post a picture blog one day and I'd be able to get a lot out of it. Maybe you could do it? I'd post back and tell you my thoughts. But keep up with the writing. This is the only blog I've ever latched onto and kept reading regularly. Sorry for all the length in this comment.

The Chillyean, one day I'll make an account.

Kaotic Carisma said...

Your blog is dope because its genuine, multi-faceted, and showcases all the layers of you. The smallest tidbits of life and turn them vivid illustrations via picture and detailed story telling. Your pretty talented! Thanks to Bryan for giving you that extra push.

the poem is a pretty good effort...raw and honest.

oh yea, you dont know me....lol

Kizzy said...

In all honesty the first time I visited your blog was to find out what kind of people Drake surrounded himself with, which would in turn give me some insight on who he might be as a person, outside of the spotlight. Now, I think I visit yours and Bryan's page a lot more than I do Drake's. I still love my light skinned jew, but I get more of a, for lack of a better word, connection from you guys. With you its not just about how you are on your emo trips; for example the krump off videos, HI-larious or the Tuesday blog when you went to Terroni, I laughed as I read it because I related, or even the post that this image was from (your journery to "narnia" lol). You're a storyteller at heart and anyone who visits the blog can see that, even when there are no words present. I love it when people can be about something and at the same time be about nothing at all(i.e just enjoying your friends, taking photos, and chillin with ya girl). Lol, I hit the refresh button to see new comments on your blogs too. Sad, but true. Keep doing ya thing because you never know who you'll inspire..........oNe

Jonny.Treeson said...

Yo Chilly! Another long ass comment for your approval. Sorry dude, let me know if I should write less. Feel free to skim.

First things first, BIG ups Bryan from Legends League. Solid advice, that shit is the truth (even though I write a blog of my own and usually only post cool shit I see). Trust. I'll be reaching his blog next, LOL.

I landed on your page about a month and a half ago when I clicked a link from October's Very Own. Being interested in fashion/photography/brand development, I was drawn to your site when I discovered you were involved in the Ransom lookbooks(nice work).

BUT since then it has been so much more, I am genuinely interested to read what you have to say and the comments left by all the good peeps. Like Bryan said, "You're creating a place for people of similar and like-minds". Word, its a good positive place to Be* and that is why I am here (tho I am siting in my office).

True, I rather read your posts than the "same shit, different day" bullcrap from say Hypebeast.com (Sorry Kev from HB) or Kanye's blog (where people leave stupid comments to dickride his shit eventhough he doesn't even write it!!!). People skim through those sites, no personality and sometimes I disgust myself for visiting them everyday, haha, forgive me.

I used to visit personal blogs from people I met in LA/Cali and thought someone should start something like that in Toronto(mad love for the T.dot). And word, I think you have done that.

Thanks.

P.S.: In the short period of time I've be visiting and leaving comments, I feel like I am writing to a friend, a boy (even though I don't know you). NO HOMO, but its obvious a lot of other people feel the same way...

P.S.S.: I usually only leave one liner comments. LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE MAN!!!!! I'M ONE OF THOSE PPL NOW!!! HAHA

Anonymous said...

stay genuine chilly willy..

your writing inspires me

Anonymous said...

damn will, im trying to pay attention in ccclllaaasss!!!!!

your blog is making it hard for me.....

Chilly Willy said...

wow...the feedback I got for this post is amazing. Once again, thank all of you guys for the long comments.

no no, no one should write any less. Like i said, its important to say what you feel. What is the point of feeling if you cant express it. expressing things feel good. it sure makes my day a lot better...as weird as that seems. lol

comments like this make me feel a lot more comfortable about just talking about random things on my mind. sad thing is...i always wanna blog, but never know what a worthwhile topic is...

but thanks again for all the input and feedback. it means a lot more than u think.

:)

i feel like we're all pen pals here. lmao!

Anonymous said...

The CHillyean is astounded by the comments too

XOxo - Stephie said...

You have this way of writing, that regardless of WHAT you write, people just wanna keep reading.

When I first came across your blog I did think it was just gonna be pictures, but I'm glad it's more than just that.

I had an account before I read your blog but now I swear I'm addicted to blogging just 'cos I started reading yours LOL.

Much Love (:

& PS: Don't replace the
"long readings" with pictures lol.

be. • TheLegendsLeague • said...

gotchu bruh.

Thanks for making me sound like a great guy! lol.

Jonny.Treeson said...

Dude,

Ignore this if it has already been done or you are not interested...

It would be dope if you and Legends League did an "Essentials" post/entry. Similar or a modified version of "Hypebeast Essentials" but obviously more interesting and closer to home.

Peep link if you need an example:
http://hypebeast.com/2008/08/hypebeast-feature-essentials-united-front/

I'm sure the readers would want to know. Maybe..... Just a random thought, had to pass it on before I forgot.

"Chilly Willy Essentials"... Yes?? No?? Stupid??

Who's feeling this idea?? Who's with me?? COMMON CREW!!

Haha

Please pass on to Legends League if your feelin it.

Anyways.. until tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

"I feel like we're pen pals"... lol, your humour billy is hilarious! Seeee... you did not need me to comment on it, although i was prob the first one to read it, lol. Maybe i should have left you a comment... but i felt like i should tell you really how i felt at that very moment, and so i did! And so you are one of the last ones left in this dying breed (as i told you already), you make me believe in chivalry again! Falesha is a lucky girl (& you're obviously lucky to have her too, as you wouldn't be wasting your time on someone who is not worth it)... Anyhow, waiting on the next blog (no pressure, no pressure at all, lol). Thanks for the late night convos, you keep me entertained!!

Anonymous said...

Wow... Will, that was fast! lol

Anonymous said...

gotta love chilly willy.
keep it coming
and you are just hilarious