Sunday, November 30, 2008


I havent been on a project with the Upper Echelon (Spexx and Dre) in a few weeks now, and man, did it ever feel nice to be back and working with my peoples.
Mood Music is mainly an R&B fellas come out to catch your bubbles and ladies come out to put it down...
(of course you'll never see me participating...Im too busy shooting, drinking or taking my shirt off. lmao)
Ironincally, I hate clubbing. I always have. The only time I DO like clubbing is when I feel like I know majority of the people in the club or when its a small intimate venue. Its odd. But only then will you see me drinking and eventually walk around in my beater. I like to know Im with my peoples and not with randoms...or else Ill stand by the wall on my blackberry.
I need to know I can yell outloud and be obnoxious and that everyone's laughing WITH me because they know opposed to ppl saying "who the fuck is this chin up in here with his shirt off yelling loud with a camera in one hand and beer in the other dancing and talking to all badass chicks in the spot. Dont he know he's at a black party tonight?" lie...thats usually what it looks like...well if you dont know me anyhow.
Last night was one of those nights tho...I had a fuckin blast. Anyone who seen me last night knew I was fuckin shit faced. lmao.

I have a lot of stories about last night...but I aint gonna tell you on the blog. lol Sorry. It aint nothing scandalous and promiscous...dont worry...but it is quite juicy. lol You guys all know me by now. lol

Thanks to everyone that contributed to such a good night for me. You know who you are.

Obviously, these arent all the pics...Im not gonna post all 400+ pics.


Ps. Anyone who has stupid pics of me being drunk or sprawled over the couch, be sure to post them, I indulge in my own stupidity. lol. And in case you ever wonder why Im always in a beater when Im drinking is because my body gets mad warm when there's alcohol in me...You know Im planning to drink if Im wearing a beater. But Ill never drink if Im not wearing a beater...A lotta people usually check if Im wearing a beater before the night starts. lol True story. As if my light skinned ass doesnt make me stand out as it is, I have to fuckin walk around half naked inside the club. Yea...thats Photo Will for ya...aka Photo Jamal (since Im actually a light skin black dude...well in my mind anyhow)

Shout outs to Tse and Jesse for the first shot of the night that burned my fuckin insides

I see you Vic.

I see you homie.

She knew what my fave song was! lol (inside joke)

Shanda...where did the rest of your shirt go? lol.

The meanest girl I know in the world wears a green scarf


Yes, yes! My dudes from highschool. Winston(left) and Big T (right). (you'll remember Big T from my school the NBA logo tee and shorts)

My dudes, Duane and DJ P-Plus

My brother Dre
If it wasnt for this picture, your face would just be a Haze in my mind. *Will tips his hat

John and Pro

My other brother, Spexx

My face below kills me! lol

Landlord (below) totally fuct me up (no homo)...Id be ok if you didnt make me down the glass of JD's eyes are small enough as it...after that eyes were pretty much closed...

Contrary to popular belief, this is my sober face...

Some girl came up to me last night and was like..."I heard if you're in your beater, it means your drunk." I was like "what? Who told you that?"
"A few girls told me that." lmao

After I was doing the body roll to Chris Brown's 'Take you down' I had to stand there for a second and juss regain balance. "My head keeps spinnin', I cant stop having these visions." lol
Its amazing how much more fluid I move and dance when the alcohol hits the system.

What up Chief?! (You'll recognize him from my highschool pictures in a red racing jacket)

Chevy somehow managed to get a squirrel on his head...

He's actually (inside joke)

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Age Differences and Relationships...

(Above is a picture of Union Station to all my non Toronto readers...its like Grand Central Station...except it aint as picture also has nothing to do with the post.)

This post is in response to the comment posted on the previous post regarding how I feel about age differences and dating...


Lemme go get my glasses, put my knitted cardigan on and fix me some tea...
Gotta get my Dr. Will game

Honestly...I dont know what my opinion is about age differences with dating.

I usually tend to not date anyone thats 3 years younger than me or older than
Its a silly rule...but Im sure it'll change with time.
Why? A lotta shit can happen within 3 years. That means we might not have listened to the same music, same cartoon shows, gone through the same fashion eras etc. But things like, different languages, cultures, lifestyle, religion, country of origin and way you were raised all contribute to the differences too...
Generally speaking, I like to date people I can relate to and shares the same interests.
Also you may be at different stages in your life. Like I would be way too intimidated to date a girl who is older than me, has her career started, making money, has her own place and drives a Benz...Id feel like a loser dating her. Even though some people will say I probably shouldnt because shes with me for a reason. But I dont know, Id feel insecure about myself...but thats just me. At the same time, I also couldnt date the girl too much younger than me because Id feel like she'd feel I would be condescending or to know it all and Im sure there are a ton of other potential problems...

I think certain relationships change with certain variables depending on the certain people that I put together.

But these problems not exclusive to age whatsoever.
A lot of people are well cultured, very knowledgeable and very mature at early ages.

Like my baggy pant singer friend, Aaliyah said...'age aint nothing but a number'...but I aint saying that like R. Kelly or Michael Jackson would...cuz they mean something else. lol

Some people know what they want at an earlier age and some people dont until a lot later. If you find eachother on the same page and it works, then go for it. Shoot for the stars.
Relationships are about much more important a real connection, understanding, care, happiness, comfort etc...Not about who's gonna collect their pension first.

But theres something wrong about someone dating a person whose the same age as their child or their parents...thats juss weird to me. But we'll save that for another day.

But a few years diff aint so bad.

At the end of the day, its you in that relationship with that other person. It doesnt matter what anyone says. Just dont lie to yourself. Dont try to make things work because you want to prove anything to anyone. Be there because you want to be. Be there because you care. Be there because you're happy. Not to say "fuck you haters, I can be with a older/younger/ guy/girl/ because Im still young at heart/mature enough to be with him/her."
You aint gotta prove shit to no one.
Aint no one tryna prove shit to you. You'd be laughing at the person tryna live their life for you...and Im pretty sure theyd be laughing at you if it were the other way around.
Date whoever the crack you want. lol
Im sure people say shit like,

'You cant find a woman your age so you find the young naive ones.'
'The women your own age to much for you to handle huh?'
'You're too good for guys your age?'
'You only want a man with money and shit huh?'
'What the fuck do you guys have in common except fuckin?'
'Does it make you feel younger dating him?'

Blah blah blah...fuck the haters. Suck my center nut!
(I dont really have a center nut but no offense to anyone who does...:S )
Let them say what they want, but if they had the chance to date someone older or younger...they probably would. Fuck if they even had the chance to date anyone that they could relate to that wasnt lying, cheating, abusing, disrespecting, disregarding, inconsiderate prick faces, they prolly would. Come on now?! Who wouldnt? As long as its not petaphilia...or really dramatic age differences...its cool.
As long as you guys are both CONSCIOUS and are both in non-forceful agreement to be does it matter?

But like I said, just no Michael Jackson or R. Kelly shit. That shits just disturbing.

On a side note, polygamous marriages is damn near weird as fuck to me. Sorry was watching some documentary on TLC the other day...*will cringes

Like Nacho Libre said "I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny" so watch me do me. Beyyyoootch!

And wow, im surprised people ever ask me to write about relationships and stuff. You guys do know Im no pro right? If I was...I wouldnt be single.

(I dont even know why Im laughing at that last

But is my advice really that affective for you guys to ask me? Do I really have that much credibility for you to pay any mind? This is mind boggling to me, but I aint complaining, Ill blab as long as just one person listens. :)

Ummm...any other questions? lol

No really, Im down to answer anything right now..well not right now...I should probably do my hmwk...but you can ask...and ill just answer when I give up on success? lol

Ill be your groupie baby...

This is one of my fave songs of all time.
I remember sitting in the car with my boys (no homo) a few summer ago when the Confessions first dropped and singing the words to the song and acting out all the lyrics of the first verse. lol
And I also remember saying to myself 'I cant wait to sing this song to someone and sincerely mean it.'

Regardless of all the mishaps and ups and downs I go through I havent given up on wanting to be in love or given up on the fact that it exists.
Some people might be is this chin talking about? This dudes soft.

Nah, Im juss keeping shit real. I dont care about what people think about me.
Last of a dying breed.
In a generation where players are glorified and promiscous behaviour has become more acceptable...I am an anomalie. I dont care if no one agrees with me. I dont care if anyone thinks Im foolish and naive. Whatever. I dont care for an empty life of money, fun and material things.

I care for happiness, love and adventure.

Dog me if you will.

Say what you want but being able to love and care for another person is a beautiful feeling, especially when its reciprocated.
There is no gratitude like that of making someone happy and feeling special. To know that you've made their day. That today, they felt like someone else. And today, they felt like that because of you.

To kiss her forehead. To tuck her in at night and blow lightly on her eyelids. To hold her hand while tickling her palm with my thumb. To rub her back. To bathe her skin and massage her temples when she's stressed. Hug her tight and embrace her lovingly. To make her smile, make her laugh and take her to new places. To experience new things and open her mind, letting her believe, allowing her to trust, taking away her insecurities, letting her let go...

having her fall in love with you...

Love, is what I yearn to feel again.

A lot of you wont know what Im talking about at all.
One day you will...or not. Your call.

My life requires a partner, someone to turn to, someone to hold my sanity and sense of self in tact. Remind me who I am and where I come from.
I could travel this road alone, but Id rather hold someone's hand.
Happiness is a lot better when multiplied, sadness is a lot easier when divided.

Some people say, even after all the heart breaks you've been through, you would go through it all again?
Of course I would.
I will willingly head into every relationship and endure every heartbreak and ache if I sincerely felt I would eventually love them and it could be something beautiful.
I just need to believe the potential exists.
I could be wrong, but thats fine.
My mistake will serve as a lesson.
A lesson I will learn from.

The bleeding eventually stops
Scars and its memories are forever.
But all wounds heal.
Pain temporary.

Hopefully your end will justify the means.
But you'll never know, if you never try.
I will gladly take the choice with the high risk of failing as long as theres a small chance of succeeding.

In my eyes, a life without risk is one not worth living.
Life is too short to live it without excitement and fulfillment.

We could all die tomorrow.
If I die, than let me do so with a smile.
I cant play the 'what if' game.
If it feels right, just do it.
If you were wrong,
oh well...

The hands keep ticking.
Time never stops.
Move clockwise.

Keep on keeping on.

Live Love Laugh


life is a movie

This post is based on some of the conversations Ive been having with a few friends throughout this week...and I have been saying the same things over and over again. I just thought it would be more effective for me to blog about it than to continuously repeat myself (although I will if necessary).

Anyone who knows me well, knows I love watching movies and I live life through a lens of a camera; seeing things in frames and scenes of a movie. I even have a soundtrack for any given moment in my life playing subconsciously in the back of my mind.

This analogy can be related to almost anything, but to anyone going through heartbreak, translate this appropriately and try to take something away from this. I may be all wrong, but something in here might make sense. And if it does, I hope it helps.

And this is just my perspective, in no way do I feel like I am right or that I know better than any other person. I am merely sharing my views in hopes that it may shed some light and give you some guidance in your time of confusion and trouble.

Life is like a big movie.
A movie where you havent read the full script and you're only acting it out scene by scene.
Everyone has their own role.
Theyre casted to for a certain scene.
Theyre casted because theyre most suitable for it, whether you (the main character) agrees or not.
(To some extent, you were casted for this role too because you were most suitable for it.)
They come on set (your life), spit their lines, play their part, and they keep it moving.
Exit scene.
But the reel keeps spinning.
The movie continues.
Do not hold a character on set for longer than they need to be. Do not extend their role in the film if its not necessary, especially, if they're not prepared or ready for such a large role. Greater roles means more lines, more acting, more commitment. Don't put all that responsibility on a person who isn't ready for it. The big roles belong to the more experienced and better actors or the actors that are meant to play the role. All you end up doing is taking away lines from the better actor and giving it to the not so good actor and risking a shitty performance from them that isn't moving, emotional or effective. The script has been written.

The little things you worry about, is merely a scene in this epic film. This part in your life movie may last only 5 minutes...this person may very well just be a cameo.
If you think the movie ends here, you're wrong. You're maybe only halfway. Sadly enough, this may not even be the main conflict nor the climax of the movie. You'll prolly have to face several more and more intense heartbreaks, depressions, failures, losses, pain, hurt, tears and suffering.
But for everything you go through, your character builds more character.
It gives you more texture and dimension.
Your character develops, creating a better understanding of your role and how to perform it.

Everyone in your life plays a role, everyone in your life has a purpose.
Sometimes it may feel like people just roll through to fuck your shit up, but look beyond that.
Take away the experience and the lesson.
Pocket it.
When a situation arises, take your experience and lesson back out.
Use it to your advantage.
Keep it moving.
There are so many problems in this life for you to have to suffer through, and life is way too short for you to just stall on the same problem.
Keep it moving.
Start working out your other problems.
Get it out of the way.
Struggle is what defines a person.
Without struggle there is no appreciation.
Without appreciation, there is no meaning.
Without meaning, there is no point.

Without a point...what is left?

Happiness is something you earn. Not something you're entitled to.
You will never appreciate something that is free more than what you have sweat, bled and cried to obtain. Some may appreciate anything and everything...but not everyone does.
Your time, effort and emotions creates value.

The way I see things is, there are barely enough hours in a day to smile. I cant waste any of it on frowns.
Spend your time doing what you want and if you cant, then work towards it.

A lot of my peoples are going through really rough patches right now...understand you are not alone. But this is your movie. Its still filming. Production hasnt ended. The full cast has yet to play their parts.
The scene will end soon enough, but the filming must go on. If things get too difficult, just climb back into your trailer. Take a step back to re-read your script. Understand your character. But keep it moving.The longer you stall on figuring out how to act part of this scene, the more you risk the next couple actors leaving the set (and maybe even the movie) and not playing their more crucial roles for later scenes.

Life is a movie.
But unfortanately, not every ending is happy.
Every hero does not save the day.
He doesnt always get the girl.
She doesnt always get saved.

But thats ok...

Regardless of the ending,
Just act your ass off.
Trust the writer and your directors and ask questions and direction when necessary.
Act your character to the best of your ability.
Make it a memorable performance
and just live your life like you deserve an Oscar.

its 541am...If there are typos and grammar mistakes, I apologize...its way too late for any edits.
To all my brothers and sisters with troubled minds, I hope this helps.

Gnite and rest well.

I just wanted to add a couple more points.

What some of us never realize is that some people in our lives are just extras, that theyre just fillers. Or theyre a side plot that sometimes doesnt really connect to the overall storyline.
What you need to do is recognize the difference between your co-star and main cast and the extras and one liner actors. You know at the end when they roll credits and the character doesnt have a name and it says 'girl #2 - Jane doe' or 'waiter #2 - Billy Bob'? ...that may be that person that you're dwelling on.
Recognize who plays the important re-occurring roles in your movie. Focus on the characters that have the biggest impact on your character development.

Everything that happens, good or bad all contributes to the greater meaning and depth to the movie.

Although the script is written, it can still be re-written if you object that badly. But understand the script should only be re-written if its to make the movie better, not just because you dont like it. You're not the only one in this movie. If the plot changes, it affects everyone and their roles. Be careful when making changes and consider what else is supposed to happen because of this modification.

Inside, im sorta laughing because this post reminds me of Entourage. Anyone who watches Entourage knows what I

Thursday, November 27, 2008

My Life Plan

Its 5am, Im wide awake. I dont want to sleep, so Ive been searching for the past few hours for something to blog and stumbled into this.
I drew this poster back in grade 9 for an assignment.
I dont remember exactly what the assignment was, but it was Career Studies. I think the assignment was something like, map your life and include the things you value most in life.

Most people just drew pictures random floating images of money, cars, houses, playstation, palm trees/vacations, a diploma etc.
I took a different approach to the assignment and created this.
I drew a map of the ideal path for me to live my life. I plotted it all out in order.
Lets break it down.

Click on the pictures to enlarge them if you cant see it properly.

You can see to the far left side is an image of my mother walking me to school. The reason why there arent both parents is because I was raised by my mother. Beside the school is the basketball court (basketball being my favorite sport) and farris wheel. The court and the ride represent fun, and leisure and its importance to balancing out education and life's responsibilities. Its also beside the school to represent the youth and adventure. That your schooling years should be one of the most exciting and fun times of your life.
There are also a lot of friends outside, and I drew a lot of them in to reinforce the importance of maintaining as many friendships as you can, not just one or two. I still do that to this day.

After highschool and all the fun is done, you start university/ college. The guy in the black knapsack and backwards hat is supposed to be me walking to school.
You'll notice that there's a huge ladder beside the university/ college that leads to a building, which is there to (not really effectively) imply the struggle and climbing that is necessary to have the career you want. You'll notice theres a beach of sorts at the bottom and people swimming and a girl in a bikini...bad symbolism, but the lack of friends there implies the fact that you may begin to lose some as you get older as people's minds, direction and perspectives begin to change and everyone kind of does their own thing to achieve their own goals.

So the flow of the picture below is basically, graduate from school, climb the ladder to reach the job of your desire (the big shiny office building), meanwhile, maintain as many true relationships as you can. Get married after you're established and have the financial, physical and emotional capacity to look after and begin your life with another.
When you're married you should already have a pad of your own. Dont be married and still be living with your mother. Assuming that you and your partner are bother established individuals, you should be able to purchase a big home with a double garage. There are musical notes leaving the house to represent happiness and joy. At this point in time, you should be able to create a family of your own. And you continue to follow the arrow upwards.
Keep following the arrows upwards

Here is a photograph of my family at that point in time...My dad, my stepmom and two brothers, Steven and Jackie. I wanted to stress the importance of family and how crucial it is to have them while growing up and finding yourself.
The fact that my family was in a photograph represented my love for photography, the palette represented my love for art and drawing, and the phone represented my unwillingness to part from deep and long conversations with whomever...which has now morphed into a blackberry.

Once you have climbed up the rest of the would reach this paradise of sorts...doesnt really look like paradise...but I love the city. So this was my ideal place to be, in the city with bright lights and a giant office building thats marked "W's $" lmao. This would be an equivalent to a cloud 9. The result of all my hardwork and effort would take me to this place...but only after everything else in life was achieved. (a good education, good friendships, graduation, career, marriage, happy family, stable home, success (however defined))
Below is a picture of me...yea...I had long hair. And that green thing is supposed to Vietnam...although it looks more like a blob that thought it was Italy. lol Vietnam was there to represent the important of one's culture and identity. And that was the southside Vietnamese flag.

Believe it or not, Im not too far off track...although Im only halfway through the plan...well sorta. I need to graduate next...but that starts with me doing my fuckin hmwk...*
I still need to find my potential future Mrs. Still need to get a career...get married, have kids, buy a home, build a family, find success, find happiness, find peace, and then find cloud 9...all while maintaining my culture, values, interests, friendships and sense of self. maybe Im not halfway there...but Im working on it. lol

So ummm yea...sorry if this post was boring. lol

Ok, now Im Nite.