Friday, November 14, 2008

BLACKBERRY OR A BF/GF?


I should really be fuckin doing my hmwk...but since im an idiot, im going to blog.

Ok...so I was sitting at the dinner table with my mom and her husband...while I was eating my blackberry messenger went off like 15 times...and I was continuously typing while eating...sometimes forgetting to chew...

Anyone who has a blackberry, knows exactly what I mean.

So my mom's husband suddenly asks me

"If I said you could only choose to have your blackberry or a girlfriend...what would you choose...you cant have both. Only one...what would you choose."

Of course the first thing I did was cringe...lol
I exhaled. Then I smiled. Then I blushed. Then I closed my eyes. Then I sat there quietly.
He was still staring at me.
I said I dont know.


LMAO!!!


How bad is that?
Why couldnt there just be harmony between the two? Why couldnt I just have both? I then started assessing the pros and cons of each.

So what do I do? I ask the fuckin audience...So I messaged like 50 people...and these are some of the answers...

'WOW...is that a real question?'
'Im gonna have to think about that one.'
'Im so torn right now.'
'I really cant answer that.'
'Tough question.'
'Did my girlfriend call you complaining?'
'Blackberry!'
'BB, but dont blog that.'
'Girls come and go, but Blackberrys are forever.'
'Blackberrys are more reliable.'
'Only if its the BB Bold.'
'Too many of my boyfriends have broken my heart, Id rather be with a BB.'
'Too much bullshit to deal with, Id rather a BB."
"I dont know my BB wont put out like it used to...my girlfriend might be easier...but than again, my BB can get me some hoes...choices...*sigh.'
'Depends...am I happy with my girl?'
'I cant answer, you might tell her.'
'Fuck that, my BB is my best friend.'
'Id drop the one giving me the most issues.'
'Id be broke without a BB.'
'Blackberry makes me money, girlfriend costs me money.'
'A Blackgirlfriend.'

I have a lot more ppl on BB, but I didnt bother asking everyone...too lazy and it slows down your phone when you have more than 50 active convos. lol

There were people who chose a girlfriend/boyfriend over the Blackberry though...well only 6 people out of the 50 people I asked tho...lol

I dont mean to put my homegirl Crystal on blast tho, but she answered with no hesitation..."My bf. He's the shit." (I think most of us would wish that our significant other would talk about us like that when we're not around.)

First of all Crystal, you must be the luckiest duck in the whole world. She said 'that was an easy answer for me'...Im sure we all wished it was an easy answer and we could have all easily chose what you did.

The funny thing is a lot of people who responded with 'blackberry' had a boyfriend or girlfriend! Wow! lol.
Trust me I was in total shock. So my question is now...how could you be with someone that you value less than a Blackberry? lol...Im serious...

Some people said,

'I would choose the boyfriend or girlfriend if it was true love.'
'I would love to care about someone so much to give up something for them.'
'I would if it were a soulmate.'
'I would if I was truly happy.'

Seems like so many people are tramautized from past relationships and are afraid to open up again and re-commit to a person due to fears of more hurt and heartache. Its understandable I guess. A lot of people just go cold and are never 'really' there once theyve been damaged. And its a shame. I hate that some people arent able to learn to trust new people, especially people who have earned it, or people who just cant open up and allow themselves to be.

Its crazy to me how so many people have lost faith in finding happiness in relationships. That having comfort and good company is no longer that important. That cuddling and affection is longer at the the top of the list. That having someone to lean on or lean on you during couch potatoe sessions arent so valuable. To have someone to holds hands with in the mall, or kiss goodnight before you fall asleep. To wake up in the morning or look forward to seeing. To help them with their homework or caring for them when theyre sick. To have someone to love and make happy. To have someone to share happiness with and divide sadness and sorrow with. To have someone to learn about and find interest in. To have someone worth changing for and becoming a better person for. To have someone stroking your hair while your sleeping or fetching you water when you're coughing. To have someone to rush to your house when you're having a breakdown or to share great news with. To have someone who you can call your own.

...

My question is, where did this all go wrong?
As sappy as this sounds, I just want to be in love and have my significant other feel the same way. Its proven to be a lot more difficult than I planned...a lot more difficult.
But it doesnt mean Ill give up...but it upsets me that some people have tho. That at 20 something years old, you're mind is so bent that you believe love doesnt exist anymore, that you can never find happiness, that soulmates dont exist, that all men and women cheat, that you will never marry or have kids (and no Im not referring to anyone or anyone's situation in particular...just a general observational comment). Its crazy to me tho.
I yearn so much to be in love again, it feels amazing.
To know someone is always there for you, to have that stability is priceless. To know you're being thought about is an amazing feeling...

Now Im not upset that anyone chose a Blackberry...Im more disappointed in what the decision implies, to know where everyone's heart and mind is at.
Sometimes I feel like Im a hopeless romantic...yea yea...this is life it aint a fuckin movie...but whats wrong with me wanting it to be like one. Movies dont always end so great or having perfect story lines either.
My flaw is often caring too much about the other person and forgetting my own. Compromising too much on my end and accepting what little I get on my end and making it sound like its all my fault if it doesnt work. Its not that Im a bitch, I just really hate break ups. I need to know Ive done everything before I give up. Sometimes the sacrifices you make will help with the decisions the other person makes...or not...but its worth a shot. Id rather go out knowing I did everything I could have done...than nothing I should have done.
Somethings cant be forced. Relationships are like all other things...sometimes it just wont work, step back, dont force it and let it be.

A line my dad always told me was

'If you've dropped your ball in the water, dont splash the water to get it back. The more you splash the further it will float. Just be patient, it will come back if its supposed to. Sometimes, it all depends on the tide. Learn patience and learn when to give up. You may drown yourself trying to get that ball back.'


I strongly feel that everyone and I mean everyone will change when they find the right person in their life. I dont see how you couldnt...
Maybe you cant do a complete 180...but you could at least try to.
Ive also learned that somethings will just never be, and some people have a lot more difficulty than others adjusting. Thats understandable too.
But to everyone whose in this stage, be sure to change and make that adjustment when it still matters. Make the choice while the offer is still on the table.

To anyone who thinks they know what this post is about its not. Im just a vert analytical person, anyone who knows me, knows that about me. People make a lot of decisions and imply things subconsciously, I just try to point it out.
This is me simply analyzing why people chose a Blackberry over a boyfriend/girlfriend...and what implications their answers gave me...

I still have a lot of black hair for a person who thinks this much.

I dont know where Im going with this...looks like the winter is going to get quite cold.

Im gonna go do my hmwk now...or watch some more Entourage...too lazy to go out tonight.


PS. Im noticing that a lot of comments are based on BB vs love, or BB vs happiness type comment. i dont think its so much that theyre choosing over true love or true life long happiness...but its more that they dont think it exists...

its that most of us are all so jaded...relationships are watever...that some people dont believe in love...

thats the sad fact behind this...

I dont think anyone would trade up love and happiness...for a phone. But they're trading it in for stress, a headache, lying, cheating partners etc. People just dont view relationships the same way. Because they feel that this relationship will be like the others, so why bother?
I dunno. And I do agree...relationships need to be 100/100...no half-ass-ness.
But its a different day in age, its a different moment in time...


Its quite the shame...

last of dying breed I tell you.


PSS. to answer everyone...I would trade it all...for love and happiness...as opposed to just a person/ a gf. Love and relationships dont always go hand in hand...although I wish it did. lol

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

or blog some more please?

Anonymous said...

A picture change is a great start

Chilly Willy said...

what picture change?

Anonymous said...

I'm imagining things. Sorry

Anonymous said...

And your answer was...
lol

Anonymous said...

lol I was ust playin, you didn't have to. Preciate it though.

Memoirs of Anesha said...

okokok...so i din't really read the whole bb blurb...but I skipped straight to your analyzation of wanting to be in love again.

it made my heart melt!

def. is the best blog you've ever blogged. that i've read.

best best best. lol...
this is something i'm going to be thinking about for the next few weeks to come. it was just that great!

awwwwww will!!!

Memoirs of Anesha said...

with THAT outlook - you'll be in love again veryyyyyyyyy soon ma friend!

Anonymous said...

It's crazy how people would rather have worldly possessions over true,life long happiness...

Chilly Willy said...

i dont think its so much that theyre choosing over true life long happiness...but its more that they dont think true life long happiness exists...

its that most of us are all so jaded...relationships are watever...that some people dont believe in love...

thats the sad fact behind this...

I dont think anyone would trade up love and happiness...for a phone. But they're trading it in for stress, a headache, lying, cheating partners etc. People just dont view relationships the same way.

Its quite the shame...

last of dying breed I tell you.

Anonymous said...

Yea, you've got a damn good point.

I have a really good friend that use to be with this guy for some years, and they were on and off and then the relationship ended on a tough note...

I remember her saying to me, "Im not getting married. I don't believe in marriage and I don't believe in love."

It completely disturbed me.

People don't realize the pain they cause people when they cheat, lie, manipulate ect...

This entire post reminds me of Gnarls Barkley - "Who's Gonna Save My Soul?" video......


if you havent seen it, go.

Entries of a DiVA said...

I have a BF, and a blackberry. I would say if I had to choose between the two the blackberry would be put through the shredder, taken out of the bin at the bottom and then tossed in the ocean far far away. I would chose my BF in a heart beat. He's the one.

Anonymous said...

I have 2 Blackberry's

When either is defective or starts having issues, I order a replacement, it gets here in a couple days and I then ship the defective one off.

With a girlfriend now, I wish I could order a replacement and have the defective one shipped off. LOL

I find that in my past relationships, and even possible recent ones. I was the one that actually brought anything too the relationship. It was pretty one sided, I just shrugged it off, and was just like whatever.

Current girls I've dealt with just wanna mislead, they don't know what they want, etc, etc. I have no time for that type of crap. Until I find a girl that doesn't have a problem with showing their true feelings. That puts into the relationship as much as myself, shit....it should be 50/50 am I wrong? That doesn't play games or mislead......I'll stick to my blackberry's

nicki83 said...

Can I keep you Will? lol!

Seriously tho, where did you come from? God seriously must have spent a little more time on you because the way that you talk about happiness, life, and especially the value of love truly is amazing. How can someone like you not have someone to love or someone to love you? It boggles my mind! Holla at me! lol ;)

The whole BB vs B/F or G/F is crazy. A Blackberry is a device, a computer. How can people choose something so small over something so big like love? There's something in a man's touch that us women (well at least me) need. There's nothing like an amazing kiss or an awesome love making session. My BB is sitting right beside me and I'm looking at it going " shooot, you can't give me that...it's impossible" So I don't get how people can choose a BB over Love. That's kinda scary...

Anonymous said...

This was real sweet. I hear you Will, in all aspects. People who feel the opposite need to read this, they NEED to.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it should be 50/50. 100/100 are the only relationships to have. In a 50/50 relationships, both sides would be being half-assed. You need to get in whole heartedly, always giving one hundred percent and even if you miss your mark, your partner will be there giving one hundred percent to lift you back up.

Anonymous said...

Okay, obviously I didn't make myself clear. By saying 50/50, I meant there shouldn't be one person always doing more than the other person. There should be an equal amount, yes 100% put into WHATEVER it may be. Whether its a friendship or a relationship.

sincerely,



Anonymous with the 2 BB's :-D

Anonymous said...

I totallllyy feel you on this Will...seriously i can't even express how much i feel you on this...its funny cause some stuff you said i could hear it coming out of my mouth...the fact that relationships need to be 100/100 is something i used to say to my ex boyfriend all the time...but i think sometimes people aren't willing to risk so much of themselves...they aren't willing to put themselves all out there because...like you said..they have this idea its just not worth it because of whatever they have experienced in the past.
i really feel you on being that person that puts there all into other people because you wanna feel like you tried everything you could and did everything to the best of your ability.
i think people don't put so much value on relationships anymore because they can get so much instant happiness from random stuff...in terms of choosing a bb over a gf/bf...i mean ur bb connects you to soo much random entertainment where you can be at least pretty happy all the time...why choose something that would be more difficult to attain happiness from even if the happiness is deeper and more fulfilling.

Nebby said...

LMAO i took it farther and asked my co-worker he said "uhhhhhhhhhh it's kinda like the same thing isnt it?" he clearly picked the blackberry LOL
My fav out of all those answer was "blackgirlfriend"

*Co Co T* said...

WILL...no worries...ur not alone...obviously there are still quite a few ppl who feel the same way u do bout....Love, Life n happiness ...O n blackberries! ;)

J. said...

Lovely, just lovely sir. I really do admire your honesty on here. And that quote about the splashing ball was amazing.Did your dad make that up? If so, copyright that shit...now. lol And I don't know if you are religious but I would just pray that God sends you the right one. That's what I do and I have faith that it will happen. But don't let the jaded people get to you, as Journey would say "don't stop believing".
(man, that's my cut) :)

p.s You will prob. get lots of vagina thanks to this bb post. lol

Peace.

krismascapricorn said...

so whenever i come here and read your stuff i always leave feeling smarter, enlightened with a clear head, a new perspective and wanting to share your thoughts with all two of my friends. very insightful

Anonymous said...

Unfortunatly....i dont have either...so i guess im out of the demographic for this question......:S...

Willbob, that was an amazing post. I must say. U brought to surface, a very, very good point.

xxx
ur homie P<3

SS said...

I love what was posted
So deep, and I totally understand the whole "you watch too many movies" I get that all the time, and there's nothing wrong with wanting a good/solid/happy relationship. Like what all, well some, of the movies convey.

I would take my gf/bf over a blackberry, any and every day.
A blackberry keeps my organized, on time, efficient etc. but it will never give you love, hug you on a bad day, lift you up, inspire you...like a gf/bf could.

Interesting post..i`ll def be back

Anonymous said...

So, boyfriend and I sat on the couch and read your blog and we came across :

"To help them with their homework or caring for them when they're sick."

I've been sick all weekend and the BF has been taking care of me, and I TRIED to help him with his homework, but there's only so much I can do when I'm sick.

Sometimes, I think you're better off with your own TV show rather than a blog.

ANNNNND

"I dont know my BB wont put out like it used to...my girlfriend might be easier...but than again, my BB can get me some hoes...choices...*sigh.''
That sounds like something Trev would say, haha!

- Candice

tilt said...

didn't think u were gonna write about all this when u were messaging me about it, but such a good topic.

and ppl our age these days have been through lots of ups and downs and mostly downs for the ones that aren't in a relationship, so bb gives them no problems...

but at the end of the day, u can' appreciate happiness without sadness. life is what you make it, day in and day out.

all experiences are lessons and make us who we are whether they were bad or good. Learn and grow from it, u'll not only appreciate it in the end, but so will that partner of urs whenever u meet him/her.

and ur dad's saying was dope about the ball... patience is a virtue and you can't expect to find "the one" at any minute, some go their whole life looking for that special person.

don't settle and be happy cuz you are happy, not to make someone else happy first.

narrylikes said...

first of all, i had to scroll down for quite a while to get to the bottom of this page. dang will, they love you with all these comments! :D

also, i love what your dad said about the ball. it's SO true. adding it to my "favorite things" list.

Neeks.OctobersVeryOwn said...

i second the black girlfriend!

Mr.Warbucks et Fam*us said...

It is a very hard choice to make...but i would have to choose the blackberry till I know that the girl is the one for me. If i pick the girl over the BB and she turns out to be the wrong choice...I would feel like a fool...I grown too close to my berry to let it go cause it makes the day go by. If i had a girl that way then i wouldn't need any other form of distraction