Monday, November 17, 2008

DATING: Friends vs. New People

I just read the last comment on the "How to get Someone to be Your BF/GF" post and I realized I may have miscommunicated my thoughts...so I just wanted to clarify.

I dont know how many people are when they choose the person that they want to be with. I often choose a person that I dont know too well...like someone that I havent known for years, or have remained too tight with.

I dont like dating bestfriends or good friends because it feels like such a 'safe' move. Because you know them so well, you know they're character, and you feel safe and secure...

meh...

I like the excitement of meeting a new person, learning about their interests and hobbies, doing new things, learning new things. Meeting their friends, meeting their family, going to new places Ive never been. They say when you really care about someone, you become more open to new things and more accepting. maybe...but I usually is in my case.
To date a friend and then tell everyone that you're now together is a bit odd to me...
I know some friends who have dated friends...its a risky situation because the whole group is at risk when you split...its like...so who do i side with? If i hang out too much with him, will she be mad and vice versa? Who do you invite to this event and who do you not? Can I invite both of them? Are they both gonna act weird in front of eachother and just make in weird for everyone else?

...?

I never play around with good friends. Ever. Because there is so much more to risk...

Id rather the new woman...I dont want to know all about her from the get go. Besides when you know all about someone, they're gonna expect the relationship to be perfect. "You already know I hate that shit, or that I love that stuff. Dont you remember when I was with ______?" Fuckin a right? lol. Half the excitement is learning about her, and being surprised and intrigued by every discovery. "Oh you like cooking? Wanna teach me? You like comic books? Wanna trade? You actually like Batman??? No way, I love Entourage too? I never knew that!" lmao!

You dont wanna read a book where you already know the plot...Its like reading the spoiler before watching the movie...you're expecting everything now...so wheres the excitement right?

Just go out, meet someone new. Stop being a shy guy/girl. Stop dating everyone in your circle...thats like playing Hot Potatoe Pass It On. It becomes incest like at some point. lol

Dating your friend has no new news to me. I know everything about you...the only diff now is we lay in bed together...

Really...

I dont know...the transitions weird. When you know someone too well, they become predictable...especially if they have bad habits, you'll be expecting them.

Ill give you an example.

So say you like...ummm...Jesse (Jesse could be a boy or girl in this case)...and youve been friends with Jesse from time. Jesse always used to call you and tell you about his/her problems with his/her significant other. Or would say things like...I dont know if I like her, I kinda like someone else. Or just talk shit behind his of her gfs back. Or you know Jesse would lie about his/her whereabouts and make you cover up. Or maybe Jesse used to cheat, but only you knew...or maybe Jesse also has weird character problems...like overly jealous, or possessive, or careless or inconsiderate...
But somehow you saw something in Jesse later on and now you're dating Jesse. What makes you think any of those things that Jesse did to his/her significant other wont happen to you?...

Friends are a safe bet. They're half the work and its so much more convenient to just be with the person you already know. You dont have to go out there and spit game, or try to win him or her over.

'You know me by now.'

meh...

Without surprises, things get repetitive. A sort of routine-ness is key, but so is the element of spontaniety. I like knowing Ive made progress through time.

Holding hands, kissing, cuddling, funny stuff, dates, special alone dates, dates with friends, meeting the family, public functions (work, family or friends), roadtrips blah blah blah.

When you're friends, you've probably done half these things...it takes away the specialness of when it happens again...or it could not...

I dont know, Im Mr. Brand New.

Even if you're gonna break my heart or leave me, Ill still go full throttle. I forever wanna be that Boyfriend that no one was ever able to out do. Ive held that title for some...and maybe not for some others. I treat every woman like a Queen, even if they dont deserve it...*sigh...trust me...
I want to be one of those greatest eras in your life, even if its short lived. I want to live as a memory of happiness or a moment of change...
I wanna be that guy whose associated with a certain place or a certain memory. Like if I say...have you ever done this, I want you to say no. And when you're next boyfriend asks have you ever done this, you say "Yea, Will took me there." "I did that with Will." "Will was the first person to show me that." "Will said that."

lmao

im such a prick! lol

Leave your mark. If you cant be with them forever, at least emboss your place in her heart and mind. Be the best at something to them, be the first for something for them...

Like Ive said in previous posts, the only thing more painful than dying is being forgotten...to be irrelevant, unimportant, unrecognized, unappreciated and undervalued is a horrible thing...

But anyways...this strike may last 11 weeks...but im told I should still my hmwk...*sigh

7 comments:

seven said...

i agree with you man. but you already know that lol.
i told you that you'd be slackin' and get distracted today. i hope the strike ends tomorrow and u get fucked!

ps: i think you're addicted to your own blog.

BNyce said...

lolll

nicki83 said...

I totally agree with everything that you have written. I'm trying to date new guys but its so hard when you come from a small town where you know everyone! It sux.

Since your on this whole dating/love tip, I wanna read about your thoughts on being friends with exes. Do you think its possible? I get mixed reviews on that topic all the time!

Anonymous said...

wow i've honestly never thought of it like that...i always figured it was better to start off as friends first and move on from there- supposedly it gives your relationship a stronger foundation to start on, but what you said makes sense...but its very true about when you split and it puts your friends in an awkward position- i've been there..its tough

Memoirs of Anesha said...

oh will.
my sentiments exactly.

narrylikes said...

i've done the friend thing.
now things are a little different. not necessarily "weird", but different.

meh.

tilt said...

totally agree chily willy.

spontaneity is much more fun and learning about something new and exciting. More to talk about and to learn...and I feel it makes you even more open cuz you don't know anything about the new person in your life.

I feel a lot of ppl choose the safe bet or just settle. Like when some ppl get married (and i know u all know a couple or two)... i'm like, he could have done better or so could she, or it just doesn't seem like its all there, but maybe they were gf/bf since high school, etc.... or got a baby together...

ppl gotta go for that one that makes you wanna fly Aladdin's carpet and see the world...lol

i love analagies with Disney movies... i swear there's a story in every movie to help with something in life... Cartoons can show so much, even more than real movies i believe, like how willy like Wall-E... gonna go watch that asap with "Eve" so u say. lol