Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Holy Cluck!

Ok...yesterday was a very interesting day. Started off very well...a lil too well actually. Im not going to get into detail...because it was one of those..."you had to be there kinda moments." and trust you definitely had to be there...although you probably wouldnt want to because of all the headache.

So feel fuckin lazy to type this story all know when you have stories that you think is so funny, but when you tell it no one laughs...yea...this is probably one of those...

Ill just K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid), so I parked on Queen St. by Bellwoods around 330ish in the afternoon and didnt purchase a ticket to put on the dash...but i said who gives a fuck. its just a parking ticket, i juss book courtdates for them anyhow. So while we're strolling I say:
"Im prolly gonna get a ticket."
"Oh shit! You are?" and she stops...
"Nah, its watevs, you know Im not scared of parking long as it doesnt get towed. because that would be a total bitch to go retrieve it and whatever...its cool tho."
"Alright, if you say so."

So we're eating our sushi and taking our sweet ass fuckin time. Then I say, "Alright, lets head out now, I juss wanna see if I can get back to my car before I get a ticket."
And then she throws me one of those frowns like "aye..."

So we leave the spot, I feel bloated and fat (as always), and we're walking to my car...

except...I dont have a fuckin car anymore...

'ummm, how come there are no cars parked on the street...? at all???'
'oh shit...'
*will checks the time on his black world edition blackberry from telus.
'fuckin' a!!! i totally forgot you cant park on the street downtown after 4pm'
'oh shit...'
'frack...i dont even know who to fuckin call when your car gets towed'
*will kicks a rock
'maybe we can call the number on the meter.'
* we both look at the meter. we find the number, I start typing down the number in my blackberry.
*they both stare at Will's blackberry and the QWERTY keypad...
'How the fuck do you spell on a fuckin blackberry???'
'oh shit...'
'ummm...does it show on your phone?'
*she pulls out her blackberry pearl
'fuckin a!...should i go inside and ask someone how to spell park on their regular phone? Bahh...I can figure it out.'

well whatever...i figure out the keys eventually, and then our 3 hour journey began from Queen and Ossington to Keele and St.Clair. A lot of really fun and interesting things happened along the way. It was like a Euro Trip...minus the Euro. It costs me 200 doll hairs to fuckin take my car out of impound, we met some old lady in a bus shelter with leaking clown make up asking us for money, a cat that was hidden inside a grocery bag on the bus, a secret doorway that lead into a room of light with a red door at the end, a jamaican jerk spot, and a black lady with orange hair who spoke portuguese but sounded like Tony Montana...

I didnt take any pictures or videos of the dramatic and thrilling experience...and im even more lazy to tell the story in detail. but lets say the evening did end off at Parkside and us gazing at this view (scroll down)...Thank you again for the company, it wouldnt have been quite the same without you.

PS. she didnt really say "Oh shit..." after everything I said...i only added that for comedic

PSS. there are prolly spelling mistakes and missing words...but i dont give a cluck! lol aint no one marking this shit...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOL wow Will, u know u can actualy just type the word "park" in your blackberry as the word and it will work lol....Well we learn something new everyday.

PS. The Black lady with the orange hair was that shit real ?? hahah lol thats fucked!!