I didnt have any gigs lined up yesterday.
A lot of people have been saying Ive been a bit M.I.A. during the holiday season...like how come I havent really spent my off days with anyone...how come Im home. How come I aint calling.
Well Ive just been spending a lot of time with my family while Remix has been closed for the holidays, thinking about what I need to do in the new year to make it better than the last.
Ive come to realize the industry is a very lonely place. I mean I know just about everyone there is to know, and Ive met them all during the first half of last year.
I thought all the partying was fun in the beginning, out 4-6 days a week, coming home everynight at 6am, drinking (free) every night, meeting new people, beautiful faces and making money...
But sometimes you just sit back and realize...fuck...this shit sucks.
There are only a handful of people in the industry that I can call friends as opposed to acquaintances and business affiliates.
Its get really tiring, when all you ever talk about is money and career plans...sometimes you just wanna kick back and talk about random bullshit. Have a real conversation about life and randomness...talk about your family and complete bullshit...it might not make me money...but it does bring me a sense of realness and lets me remember who I am...
...Im not just a photographer.
Ive been doing my best to spend the holidays with my closest friends, making phone calls to friends I havent heard from or havent checked in on in sometime.
Last night, I spent it with my oldest set of friends.
When I say old, I dont mean in age, I mean in history.
My Sauga boys...we've been called a million things throughout the years as we formed crews...and members joined, left, passed or were put away...but Ive known some of these guys since grade 2, and some others since grade 6.
No one else has more history or has known me for longer than these dudes.
When I tell you guys (the haters in particular) to look up my history and do a background check, ask these guys...they have my track record stored away mentally.
These are my ride or die brothers.
We've been together through thick and then. Celebrate together, cause trouble together, got in trouble together, suffered together, gained together and lossed together.
These guys were with me during the most unstable and troubling moments of my life.
When I lived with my pops in North York, tried to run away cuz I wanted to commit suicide back in grade 9, and after I spoke to Ms. Rosvelti, I came back home to Sauga for a week to see my mom and seen these guys everyday for a week...these are my dudes. These guys keep me real.
As a crew, as a family, we've been through the craziest shit together...anyone who grew up at Bloor and Dixie knows us very well...
As we grew older, I kinda headed in a different direction with the things I wanted to do with my life. Doesnt necessarily mean my decision was for the best or for the worst, we just grew apart a little bit, but it never changed the way I felt about the crew or vice versa when I came back.
That to me is the greatest comfort of all...that I could step away, do my thing, leave them for a bit and I could still come back and they'd act like nothing ever changed. They didnt make me feel uncomfortable cuz I missed out on inside jokes, or feel neglected or excluded during conversations...They still understood my humor and my asshole personality. lol. I value so much that our loyalty and respect for eachother never diminished or eroded in my absence...that they still understood me as an individual at the end of the day...that even though I was gone, I never really changed.
Nothing changed...only the pages of the calendar...
Thats what you call brothers.
All them other people that call you a sell out for doing you, or call you a sell out because theyre being selfish...those arent your people. Some of y'all should reassess some of your friendships...Ive been reassessing a lot of mines.
Last night I called up Anthony, and asked what he was doing and if he wanted to chill...he was like...u aint working? u aint got plans? really?
I guess it is a bit of a surprise when I roll through the block again from time to time. They all asked me, "So, what you wanna say tonite?"
And I said, "It doesnt matter, if you guys wanna hit a club, a pool hall, chill out, just eat, whatever, I just wanted to spend time with you guys." (No bromance)
So we just went out to eat Pho (Vietnamese cuisine) and hit Captain's (the only pool hall you need to know in the west end).
Even though, we didnt do anything extremely exciting, it was just good to be with the boys again, be nostalgic, talk about the old days, talk about whats going on in our lives now, laugh at random nonsense...
Never forget where you came from and the people who made you who you are. Understand your roots. Never forget the real ones...
Who you are today, is a result of your yesterday.
I just missed us all being together again...
Being home again...
Here are some (there are a lot of pics...Im just posting my faves) pics of us through the years...they get older as the post goes on...The person that is always consistent in the pictures is Anthony...we werent called brothers growing up for no reason...we're on some real Double Dragon shit...(except we aint white. lol)
Yep...that girl that Im huggin, thats Lola...lol