Darkness.

Yea...if you cant tell, Im still on an emo-tip. Havent really left the house to document anything yet...but thats fine, ive got material for days.

I found this poem too, along with all my other poems from grade 9...here you go.

DARKNESS

The world was a dark room
Without a light.
I was in it.
There must have been a candle somewhere
But I just couldn't find it.
Alas, I have found you,
The candle.
The only problem now was
How do I light you?
Many times I have tried.
But you burnt out every time.
After months of patience,
I finally lit you.
All the happiness I cannot tell you.
I still remember as if it were yesterday,
When you lit up
And the darkness ran away.
You became the light in the room.
Nothing else mattered.
Everything seemed brighter.
You put me to sleep,
You put me at ease.
But in the back of my mind I wonder
Will this light last forever?
Will someone else blow out this candle of mine?
Or will you burn out by yourself in time?
Whatever happens
You must know.
Ive never had a light as bright as yours.
For if I do find another,
It wont be the same.
This room is no longer lit by the very same flame.
After all of our times,
Ive learned this bit,
Once you've gone out...

You cannot be re-lit.

The eerie thing about this poem is it still relates to me 9 years later. I do seek the company of 'candles' so to speak. To this date, I think Ive ever found only one. She knows who she is. (No disrespect to anyone else Ive ever dated).
My mind has matured, experience gained, heart has been broken and mended, my soul has become stronger...but my mentality about being with a woman is exactly identical...

I treat every woman as if they were a candle...whether they actually are or not...I dont know.

I dont even know where Im headed with this...and I feel a Dr. Will moment coming *pause (Dr. Will as opposed to Dr. Phil)...but good people are very hard to come by. Cherish and value the person who keeps your content and happy. All that cheating bullshit is wack. Ive only ever fell out of line once and you have my word that it would never happen again...

I dont believe in cheating because I believe in Karma...not that im afraid it will come back to myself, but to those around me. I dont believe in Karma in the sense that theres some sort of boomerang sent from God, but Im afraid of how I would be on the other end. Not as the victim, but the persons friend, the persons father, the persons son.

And plus, no one deserves to have their emotions played with. Playing with people emotions tramautize them.

I have this thing about cheating. Sometimes Im glad that women have been cheated on or have been treated ill, because when they meet a guy like me they may appreciate me more for the man that I am to them. But obviously theres a problem with this, a lot of women lose trust and hope in all men and relationships because of their past experiences and fuck it up for guys like me. They end up putting all men in this horrible category and no one ever gets a chance.
Or the third scenario is...they become used to the abuse and when you're too good to them, theyre always looking for problems because they relate relationships to drama, and without drama they dont feel the relationship is real.

...its a bit of a headache...
Its almost a lose lose situation...it is extremely difficult to find good, beautiful, smart, ambitious, educated, conscious, strong and independent women...so frickin hard. (But you miss, are a gem.)

But back to the poem. lol. It sometimes sucks...because although you see someone as the candle, sometimes they see you as the darkness; As a part of their uncertainty, their fear, their insecurity, their unknown.

lol...Im laughing cuz i feel like a dork for being so sappy...But I guess im the last of a dying breed. The world will only appreciate people like me when we're all gone...

Like Ive always said before,

Trust what is constant and act when it still matters.